Thursday, 7 January 2010

A village, entombed

The inhabitants of the village of Goosnargh in Lancashire awoke to the greatest snowfall that they had ever witnessed. To give an idea of the amount of snow that had fallen: The tallest man in the village, Peter Preston, was six feet and seven inches tall, and if he stood at his window, only his eyes were visible above the snowline. There were over twenty thousand tonnes of snow in the village; over a hundred thousand cubic metres had fallen overnight.
The responses of the villagers were varied, ranging from blind panic to exuberant joy. The initial thought of everybody was 'how will I get out of my house?' Stefan Jorvik was of a practical nature, and used a spade to create a series of channels, steps and tunnels in the compacted ice and snow. Daphne Killson (whom many of the villagers had long suspected had issues with her sanity) wept and screamed and clawed at the snow piled up outside her front door.
The women of the village obsessed over milk and bread: 'We will run out of milk and bread,' and, ' the shop has sold out of milk and bread,' or, 'We mustn't use too much milk or bread – make it last'. Why milk and bread were the top of their list of concerns was a mystery to the men of the village. Surely in a housebound emergency, milk and bread were the most useless staples. Canned food, rice and pasta would be more useful. But try telling this to the women.
The men of the village worried more about their backs. Shoveling the snow, falling on the ice, lifting their children – all of this was taking its toll. And don't forget, the men of the village are not as young as they once were. 'They are weak,' thought the women of the village, 'what happened to the man I married?'
The children of the village spent a large amount of time looking out of the window in awe. When the snow dissipated enough to allow outdoor play, the children threw snowballs, wriggled snow angels into the ground, and built snow robots.

In three days, the snow had melted. The only evidence that remained was to be found in the garden of the Cotterston family. In a puddle on the patio sat the following ingredients: a soggy scarf and hat, one carrot, nine pebbles and two sticks. Snowman soup.

1 comment:

  1. My favourite bit is the accurate description of the weight of snow. Am I a nerd? Well done though, I hate stories that screw up simple facts like that.

    ReplyDelete